Sacrament of pain: Health update - August 11, 2023

 Though I am now retired from the United Methodist itinerant ministry, I remain an ordained clergy and theologian, with a particular orientation toward the sacramental.  There are specific sacraments, by which outward signs communicate and convey inward grace, such as baptism and the Lord’s Supper. But I also see sacramentality in many other aspects of life that can be windows into the life and love of God.  Even our own bodies, in sickness and health, can be means of glimpsing the heart of God, who in Jesus Christ, took on the suffering of the world. Pain may be a sacrament. I sometimes pray this prayer from the Order of Saint Luke daily office.

Lord of Life: Give us courage to realize your love, justice, and compassion. May we recognize the needs of this world as your needs,  our pain as your pain,   and all people as your people so that, for the sake of the Gospel,  we may risk self-giving action and devoted service to your Name. Amen.

When we recognize in our own pain that God is also hurting for this broken world, then our prayers for healing are doubled. As we pray for our own healing, we also pray with God for the healing of the world.

Recently I shared about my inability to sleep.  Chin Cheak took me to a TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) doctor.  She can attest to my skepticism about TCM, but this guy prescribed acupuncture and meds to help me relax.  And it seems to be working.  Since Friday of last week, I have slept at least 5 hours each night, which is far better than the previous week. We’ll see him again Monday.  I hope the trend continues, because the body needs sleep to do its own healing, plus sleep conserves energy.  My breathing burns up a lot of calories each day. My heart rate remains high throughout the day, but when I can sleep, finally it can rest a little.

We are not alone. But there is a tendency when you’re not feeling well, to withdraw.  That’s certainly my case. Not only have a just retired, but my health care has become a full-time project. I’m dealing with the shortness of breath caused by pulmonary fibrosis, exacerbated by loss of weight, so I have little reserve.  Nearly every week I have at least one medical appointment.  Also, I recently started seeing a therapist, because it’s very easy to be anxious under these circumstances.  This therapist is kind of like a coach.  Redirect your maladaptive thinking by cultivating your friendships.  Don’t isolate yourself.  Listen to inspirational talks, and practice meditation to slow your thinking, because anxiety makes everything urgent.

Next week I have a gastric emptying test.  If I pass, that is, if the stomach empties itself in normal time, then I’m one step back on track for lung transplant listing.  Pray for the test, and that I continue to get sleep and put on weight.